My husband ‘M’, the lucky bugger, has been sent to Vegas twice in the last two years for work conferences. The first time he went was when our son ‘A’ was tiny and he returned after his three days away from us laden with exciting-looking gifts.
A gorgeous and funky Paul Frank game for ‘A’
A pair of Small Paul trousers for ‘A’
A Small Paul cowboy style shirt for ‘A’
I ooh-ed and ahh-ed and patiently waited for something to appear for me, perhaps a handbag from the Bellagio, or a nice pair of shoes from the Venetian or even something from the Paul Frank store where ‘M’ had obviously spent a ton of time and money. But no, at the end of the gift-giving ceremony I was handed a pair of disposable hotel slippers and an emergency toilet roll pilfered from the Wynn, where ‘M’ had been staying. I thought about the vintage shirt and funky jacket and tacky dice that I’d carefully bought for ‘M’ when I’d been to Vegas a few years before and I thought to myself, ‘well, it’s okay, our son is more important and I’m glad that he got gifts’.
No I didn’t, I thought “That’s it….this is war”.
We have a long and torrid history of giving inappropriate gifts, starting with the Valentine’s card that I made for M before we even got together. He’d been over to my house and had fallen in love with my two kittens, so for some reason (that appears to have escaped me now), I made him a card using teeny heart-shaped cat treats glued onto a card in a big heart. I slipped it into his locker at work, not knowing that he’d gone away for a week. When he finally returned and opened his rusty locker door, he almost passed-out from the stench of rotting cat treats, which incidentally never quite went away.
Fast-forward to a few years later and imagine how excited I was when I found that one of my birthday presents was the Vice Magazine’s Guide to Sex, Drugs, Rock n Roll- a notoriously male publication which he ended up reading cover to cover. Then there was ‘M’s most recent return from Vegas when I was presented with a hair drying wrap as my gift. It actually turned out to be a pretty useful present, but my initial reaction was that he’d grabbed it at the airport as an afterthought. And if we’re being honest here, I only started using it myself after I saw how well it worked on his hair.
Whenever I fail to react with glee when I open something, ‘M’ likes to remind me of the time I bought him a cheese grater for his birthday. And I can’t deny it- I did, but it was a top-of-the-range parmesan table-top grater from England, and ‘M’ really likes to cook, so I thought that was okay. Or the time I bought him socks for Valentine’s or kitchen scales for Christmas.
With this year’s Valentine’s approaching fast, I’ve been thinking about gifts and I realized that the top three things on my wish list don’t come in a box with a ribbon on top….#3 some free time, #2 sleep, and #1 some cleaning! Yes….the most romantic thing I could think of being given this Valentine’s would be the gift of a clean house. Sigh.
What about you? Do you have any funny, ultra romantic or amazingly weird gift story? What’s the best gift you could get this Valentine’s Day? Tell us about it comment box below and you’ll be entered into my blog’s Valentine Day draw. You could win a beautiful ceramic necklace from everydaymary, a local artist and new blogger. Check out her blog and etsy store to see samples of her artwork and to read about how this mother of four finds time to be creative.
Winner of the necklace will be picked on Monday 15th Feb and announced in this blog.